Acceptance - 4 Dealing with Rejection

Romans 8:1 “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” NASB

It’s bound to happen. If it hasn’t plagued you for a portion or all of your life already, trust me, it will happen sooner or later. Someone is going to reject you.

There are a variety of grounds they may choose to reject you on – anything from your faith, your personality, something that transpired between you, or for no seeming reason whatsoever. It’s going to happen.

Please read our texts: Romans 8:1-18, John 15:18-21, John 16:32-33 These are going to be our base texts for the next couple sessions, so you might want to find a bookmark.

Rejection hurts. There’s no way around that. It just really hurts.

Q: In your journal, please list some people who have rejected you. Do your best to contain your emotions for now. Let’s look at this as objectively as we can; we’ll deal with emotions in a minute.

DO: Now take your list, and categorize those people (as best as you can, for only our Heavenly Father truly knows the hearts of them) into two categories: believers and non-believers.

Though rejection from both categories certainly hurts, I can tell you that for me personally, rejection by other believers is far harder to deal with. Over the next couple days we are going to look at both. In some ways we deal with them the very same way. But there can be a bit different approach between them at times too.

I’d love for you to realize one very important thing.

Jesus suffered rejection every bit as much as you, and then some. And He remained sinless through it all.

Hebrews 4:15 “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” NIV

I find it interesting that in NASB the word for empathize is written as sympathize. The meaning is rather a dual one; the Greek word is sympatheō, and it carries meaning of both sympathy and compassion. The King James Version uses the word “touched” (source). In any and all of these, we know the very important truth that Christ also suffered like us, and He is understanding, compassionate and sympathetic toward our situation. He does know what you’re going through. It would be immature and childlike for us to declare to Him “you don’t understand” or “nobody understands me”. He does. Completely.

Please look again at our text in John 16, specifically verse 33:

John 16:33 “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” NASB

We are promised trouble. This life was never meant to be easy. Christ knew the pain we would face, and that’s part of why He came here to overcome it. To conquer it on our behalf.

So how do we handle it when a believer rejects us? This person is supposed to be on our side, are they not? Yes. And they are, technically speaking. They just may not be doing what they should be doing.

What? May not be? How about ‘they are certainly in the wrong’! I am hurt here, and they are to blame!

Did I catch you? Is that what you’re thinking? I would be if I was you.
But here’s why I can’t draw a blanket conclusion that they are in the wrong. Sometimes, I believe God moves people apart for a very specific reason. If both parties are Christians, then I’d say the odds are even more in favor of this. Here’s why. God’s ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. He alone can see the bigger picture. He alone knows the steps that must be taken to shape and mold His children in the best way possible. If that means separating two of His children for a period of time, then that’s the way it must be.

Are any of you parents? You know, then, certainly, that at times you need to intervene and separate your children – for their good. Is this making any better sense when I put it that way? Can you relate?

At other times, when you are rejected by another Christian, it may be that they are not walking in obedience to God. They, just like anyone, yourself included, are still human. They are still capable of failing. I’m not here to excuse anyone, believe me. I am here, though, to let you know that you’re not responsible for them. You’re just simply not. You are responsible for you, and nobody else.

Romans 14:12 “So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.” NASB emphasis mine

Look again at Hebrews 4:15. Check out behind the scenes on the word tempted:

peirazōto try, make trial of, test: for the purpose of ascertaining his quality, or what he thinks, or how he will behave himselfto test one maliciously, craftily to put to the proof his feelings or judgmentsinflict evils upon one in order to prove his character and the steadfastness of his faithsource 

Sometimes, as hard as it is to swallow, God may be allowing rejection in your life so that your faith is strengthened. So that you learn that He alone is your constant. He alone is the one who you should put your faith and confidence in.

Psalm 71:1 “In You, O Lord, I put my trust; Let me never be put to shame.” NKJV

Romans 8:18 “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” NASB

I’d like for you to look again at our text in John 15 before we close. I have two admonitions for you.

1) Don’t take it personal.

In verse 18, Jesus says any rejection you receive is actually directed at Him. You are His child.

Romans 8:16-17 “The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.” NASB

Which brings me to my second admonition:

2) Remember He will help you through it.

Every day might be a struggle. It may not become resolved this side of Heaven. But know that He’s got your back. And your heart. And He’s sent you help. See John 15:26. That Helper is referred to in other passages as our Comforter. And in this case, they’re One in the same.

In your prayer time, ask for that help. Now’s the time to unleash your emotions – tell it all to Him, He can handle it, and it brings Him such joy to hear you tell it to him, even if it brings searing pain or rips open a wound you were trying to ignore. Have God help you through it. He’s no stranger to rejection, and he does know what you’re going through. He’s been there. 

Set Free 4 - Battling Perfection part 1

Text: Galatians 1-2 (Specifically 1:1-12, 2:4, 14-21)

Today we step into a pretty touchy subject. One where we all, perhaps, from time to time, are guilty.

Perfectionism.

Did that sting a little? Then listen up, because you are not alone.

I believe as Christians it is so easy to fall into this, perfectionism, picking at others and inwardly (or outwardly. shame on us.) boasting that “I am so much better than she is, and here’s why: look – just look at where she failed so miserably.”

Look – just look in the mirror with me.

James 1:23-25 “For if you listen to the Word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.” NLT

And look at Isaiah

Isaiah 64:6 “We are all infected and impure with sin.    When we display our righteous deeds,
    they are nothing but filthy rags.Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall,    and our sins sweep us away like the wind.” NLT emphasis mine

So now that we’ve got that cleared up, the playing field is leveled. So let’s begin.

We’re no better than the next guy. Even if we’re trying harder, meeting the “rules” better, or doing more things above and beyone.

So, Treasured One, now what?

This doesn’t mean to stop trying.

Here in our text in Galatians, there was a disagreement on Christian practices. (I will tell you the particulars on the disagreement so that you can understand our text, but I want you to broaden your application to other rules that Christians and church groups impose. Good ideas and morally upright decisions though they may be, they’re not all based on Scripture as a fundamental law we must all follow as God’s children. We will discuss further as we go along what this sometimes looks like.)

The particular disagreement was this: whether or not Christians needed to be circumcised to be saved. (At the time, it was only a practice of the Jews; or people who converted to Judaism would do this as a public way of showing their new allegiance.)

And the book of Galatians, while peppered with great principles and wisdom and instruction, is largely an answer to that question.

If you haven’t already, please read our text. If you have the time over the next couple days please take the time to read all of Galatians. All 6 chapters. If you do not have the time right now, at least read the selections I have listed above from chapters 1 and 2, as they contain key verses to our discussion.

Let’s dig in.

Notice how the letter opens up almost immediately with the statement of reassurance (1:4) that Christ came for our deliverance.

To set us free.

Romans 8:2 “because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” NLT

But how quick we are to create our own bondage even though we are free.

Please do not misunderstand. I am not advocating that we throw all rules and holy-living out the window. I merely want to emphasize that that should not be what defines us, or what defines our salvation. We will fail sometimes. That we are living forgiven under grace, saved by faith, and that it is by nothing we’ve done – for we can never do enough to gain God’s favor.

What I am talking about here are the extra rules or extra standards that we impose on ourselves and then scoff at those who do not keep them, even when it is we ourselves who fail.

Do you hear me? So often we impose  a rule or standard upon ourselves and then become downcast when we don’t (can’t) hold up to it.

Where is grace? Where is liberty?

Galatians 1:10 “For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.” NASB

Who are we trying to please?

If you relate to the preceding paragraphs, I encourage you to cover this in careful meditation and prayer.

Q: What are some things you might not realize you are doing just to look good? Either to save face, or because someone will think we’re a “better Christian” for having done them?

Being a Christian, (“better Christian” or otherwise) all boils down to one thing. Faith in Christ’s finished work on the cross, and His resurrection from the dead to save us from our eternal punishment in hell.

That’s it.

Galatians 2:16 “Yet we know that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law.” NLT

If we try to add anything or do anything else to qualify, we have missed the boat. See 2:17-18.

Galatians 2:17-18 “But if, while seeking to be justified in Christ, we ourselves have also been found sinners, is Christ then a minister of sin? May it never be! For if I rebuild what I have once destroyed, I prove myself to be a transgressor.” NASB

Chuck Smith puts it this way “If I try to build again a relationship through the law, that which I destroyed when I came to the knowledge of Jesus Christ, then I would become a transgressor.” source

Let us not frustrate the grace of God.

Frustrate here comes from the Greek word atheteō, which means the following:

to do away with, to set aside, disregardto thwart the efficacy of anything, nullify, make void, frustrateto reject, to refuse, to slight.source

Let us not frustrate His grace. Frustrate His work and make it meaningless by trying to “do” and “be” so much in order to be good little Christians. Any work we do should just be a service from grateful hearts and nothing more.

DO: Today and tomorrow I encourage you to make a list of things you do. You’ll probably think of more throughout the day, and it’s okay to drag your journal around the house with you so you can add to it. This list should include as much as you can think of that you do because you’re a child of God (or behavior you avoid for the same reason).

Then, prayerfully, determine if they are actual rules in the Bible (it’s helpful to find Scripture to back them up, especially if you’re not sure), or if they are rules that you yourself or your church or some other group have imposed on you.

I am not necessarily telling you to change what you’re doing, but I’d really like you to evaluate why you’re doing it.

I’d also love for you to pray for God to reveal to you any time that you may have judged someone else as “not as good of a Christian” because their list doesn’t look like yours. Even if some of those things are in the Scripture-imposed part of your list.

Galatians 6:3-5 “For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another. For each one will bear his own load.” NASB

We will pick up in Galatians 3 in our next session. See you there.