Acceptance - 4 Dealing with Rejection

Romans 8:1 “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” NASB

It’s bound to happen. If it hasn’t plagued you for a portion or all of your life already, trust me, it will happen sooner or later. Someone is going to reject you.

There are a variety of grounds they may choose to reject you on – anything from your faith, your personality, something that transpired between you, or for no seeming reason whatsoever. It’s going to happen.

Please read our texts: Romans 8:1-18, John 15:18-21, John 16:32-33 These are going to be our base texts for the next couple sessions, so you might want to find a bookmark.

Rejection hurts. There’s no way around that. It just really hurts.

Q: In your journal, please list some people who have rejected you. Do your best to contain your emotions for now. Let’s look at this as objectively as we can; we’ll deal with emotions in a minute.

DO: Now take your list, and categorize those people (as best as you can, for only our Heavenly Father truly knows the hearts of them) into two categories: believers and non-believers.

Though rejection from both categories certainly hurts, I can tell you that for me personally, rejection by other believers is far harder to deal with. Over the next couple days we are going to look at both. In some ways we deal with them the very same way. But there can be a bit different approach between them at times too.

I’d love for you to realize one very important thing.

Jesus suffered rejection every bit as much as you, and then some. And He remained sinless through it all.

Hebrews 4:15 “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” NIV

I find it interesting that in NASB the word for empathize is written as sympathize. The meaning is rather a dual one; the Greek word is sympatheō, and it carries meaning of both sympathy and compassion. The King James Version uses the word “touched” (source). In any and all of these, we know the very important truth that Christ also suffered like us, and He is understanding, compassionate and sympathetic toward our situation. He does know what you’re going through. It would be immature and childlike for us to declare to Him “you don’t understand” or “nobody understands me”. He does. Completely.

Please look again at our text in John 16, specifically verse 33:

John 16:33 “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” NASB

We are promised trouble. This life was never meant to be easy. Christ knew the pain we would face, and that’s part of why He came here to overcome it. To conquer it on our behalf.

So how do we handle it when a believer rejects us? This person is supposed to be on our side, are they not? Yes. And they are, technically speaking. They just may not be doing what they should be doing.

What? May not be? How about ‘they are certainly in the wrong’! I am hurt here, and they are to blame!

Did I catch you? Is that what you’re thinking? I would be if I was you.
But here’s why I can’t draw a blanket conclusion that they are in the wrong. Sometimes, I believe God moves people apart for a very specific reason. If both parties are Christians, then I’d say the odds are even more in favor of this. Here’s why. God’s ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. He alone can see the bigger picture. He alone knows the steps that must be taken to shape and mold His children in the best way possible. If that means separating two of His children for a period of time, then that’s the way it must be.

Are any of you parents? You know, then, certainly, that at times you need to intervene and separate your children – for their good. Is this making any better sense when I put it that way? Can you relate?

At other times, when you are rejected by another Christian, it may be that they are not walking in obedience to God. They, just like anyone, yourself included, are still human. They are still capable of failing. I’m not here to excuse anyone, believe me. I am here, though, to let you know that you’re not responsible for them. You’re just simply not. You are responsible for you, and nobody else.

Romans 14:12 “So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.” NASB emphasis mine

Look again at Hebrews 4:15. Check out behind the scenes on the word tempted:

peirazōto try, make trial of, test: for the purpose of ascertaining his quality, or what he thinks, or how he will behave himselfto test one maliciously, craftily to put to the proof his feelings or judgmentsinflict evils upon one in order to prove his character and the steadfastness of his faithsource 

Sometimes, as hard as it is to swallow, God may be allowing rejection in your life so that your faith is strengthened. So that you learn that He alone is your constant. He alone is the one who you should put your faith and confidence in.

Psalm 71:1 “In You, O Lord, I put my trust; Let me never be put to shame.” NKJV

Romans 8:18 “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” NASB

I’d like for you to look again at our text in John 15 before we close. I have two admonitions for you.

1) Don’t take it personal.

In verse 18, Jesus says any rejection you receive is actually directed at Him. You are His child.

Romans 8:16-17 “The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.” NASB

Which brings me to my second admonition:

2) Remember He will help you through it.

Every day might be a struggle. It may not become resolved this side of Heaven. But know that He’s got your back. And your heart. And He’s sent you help. See John 15:26. That Helper is referred to in other passages as our Comforter. And in this case, they’re One in the same.

In your prayer time, ask for that help. Now’s the time to unleash your emotions – tell it all to Him, He can handle it, and it brings Him such joy to hear you tell it to him, even if it brings searing pain or rips open a wound you were trying to ignore. Have God help you through it. He’s no stranger to rejection, and he does know what you’re going through. He’s been there.