Acceptance - 10

Text: Romans 12:9-21

Today we will close our study on Acceptance. I don’t know what God has for us in the future but will be in prayer as we put together a new study to follow this one. If you would join me in prayer to that regard I would be grateful.

For today, though, we’re going to get a final grasp on a concept that ties all this acceptance together. We’ve looked at when others don’t accept us, or when we don’t accept others. We’ve studied the beautiful love of God in His acceptance of us. We’ve looked at surrendering our desires and accepting God’s plan for our lives. But I believe the bottom line that would boost the effectiveness of all of these is accepting Him. Accepting God for Who He says He is, accepting what He wants to accomplish in our lives, and how He wants us to be used in His awe-inspiring plan. Accepting His character as Holy, complete, and our ultimate standard.

While there is no way we could really go in depth into this entire subject in a single post, or even in our entire lifetime, we’ll dig into it enough that we can apply the principles to our lives today, and build a foundation for the way we think and act.

DO: Begin in prayer. Ask God to clear your mind of anything that might be a distraction today, and that might persuade anything other than His precious Words to speak to your mind and heart right now.

In our text today we see some of the commands God gives us. I want you to look just past the command and into the character of the Holy God behind it.

Read Romans 12:9-21.

By looking at even just this small list, and realizing that God would never hold us to a standard that He Himself does not uphold… realizing that these give us a small picture of who God is and what He is like, does that sound like someone you would love to emulate? Love to follow? Even love to just be around? Of course it does.

DO: Write out a list of those commands, starting at verse 9 and going all the way through to verse 21. This may take a few minutes, but I’ll wait.

Did you pretty much write out the whole passage? I did.

It’s a tall order that’s for sure. And I bet, if you’re anything like me, some will come easier and some will be harder. But know that God has got them all down pat. In fact, He’s the basis for this kind of behavior. This kind of behavior would not even cross our minds on our own. Our sinful nature is wired opposite of His, and so we not only don’t exhibit this behavior naturally, we naturally reject it. We reject it because it’s in opposition to our nature. Following me?

But as a child of God, everything changes. We accept Him, because He accepted us just as we were. No cleaning up needed. No façade, no polish… not even makeup. Just us.

1 John 4:19 “We love him, because he first loved us.” KJV

Love here is from the word agapaō, meaning to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly.

Q: Which part of the meaning of agapaō touches you most deeply?

And that’s it. That’s the only thing we can claim- is His love. Ours is merely a response. And that’s all He asks. The rest – the list of instructions, and everything right would come as part of that response. Part of accepting His unspeakable gift.

2 Corinthians 9:15 “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” NASB

Indescribable here is from the Greek word anekdiēgētos, and it’s the only time we find it in the Bible. Its meanings are

Anekdiēgētos: unspeakable, indescribable

or the negative form of ekdiēgeomai: to narrate in full or wholly; to relate, tell, declare

In other words, there’s no way to fully relate it. No way to completely tell how great and awesome His gift is.

How then, do we even begin to accept it?

Doesn’t God just blow you away?

And that’s what faith is. Accepting without fully seeing. Without fully knowing. One day, sisters, we will know, see and understand Him. One day, but not this side of Heaven. But aren’t we grateful? Here’s why this makes me grateful. Because to fully know and understand Him it would be easier to put myself in a position I do not belong. I belong in the finite. I belong where I don’t understand. This keeps me humble.

Romans 12:16 “Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.” NASB

John 13:7 “Jesus said to him, you do not understand now what I am doing, but you will understand later on.” AMP

Romans 11:33 “Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!” NASB

Job 9:10 “Who does great things, unfathomable, and wondrous works without number.” NASB

So, accepting Him isn’t some lofty, unreachable aspiration. It is a humble one. To humbly just accept. Ungrasp your stubborn fist, and open your hand to accept.

Acceptance - 1

Romans 15:7 “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” NIV

Sometimes it seems intangible. Sometimes it seems alluring. Some spend their lives fighting for it. Some are blessed to have always known it.

Acceptance.

In this segment we will be looking at different facets of acceptance: toward others, others’ acceptance of us (or lack of it), acceptance by God, acceptance of God, and acceptance of His plan and will for us.

I would like for you to spend some time in prayer, asking God to open your mind to areas in your life that need sharpened, matured, mended or healed. Maybe they’re hidden; maybe they are obvious, bleeding, raw. Maybe there are some from both categories.

Please read our text Romans 15:1-13 and let’s dig in.

Zoom in on verses 2-3:

Romans 15:2-3 “Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification. 3 For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me.” NKJV

Christ took all our reproaches – the ones we lash on each other, the ones we earned when we sinned and acted apart from God’s commandment, causing our rejection and lack of Holy acceptance – that is, without intervention.

Read Psalm 69:9-12

And He knew this was coming because of us, and loved, gave, died anyway.

Psalm 69:11 “I wore sackcloth as my clothing,and I was a joke to them.” HCSB

Q:  From Psalm 69:11-12 Christ humbled Himself for us, and how did we respond?

Sheer ridicule.

How could we? How dare we?

And we who did this to Him – yes, willingly – He accepts us. Chose us. Loves us.

What I’d love for you to notice in this is that He is our example.

1 John 2:6 “Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.” NIV

 1 Peter 2:21 “For you were called to this,because Christ also suffered for you,leaving you an example,so that you should follow in His steps.” HCSB emphasis mine

Ephesians 5:1-2 “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.” NKJV

Philippians 2:5 “Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus” HCSB

I would like to encourage you this: there has never been or ever will be any hurt greater than that which Christ took because of us. And we have His example to follow – so it is time to lay aside our pride and realize that even if we’ve been hurt, we too can forgive, as Christ forgave us.

Ephesians 4:32 “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” NKJV

Only after that forgiveness and by following His example of pure grace can we even begin to practice acceptance toward one another. Even toward those who do not accept us.

Turn back to our text in Romans 15.

Romans 15:1 “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.” NIV

And we are commanded to accept one another.

Romans 15:7 “Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted [a]us to the glory of God.”  NASB

Only through God will we ever be able to do this.

Whenever we see a ‘therefore’ in a text, we ought to look at the preceding verses. So glance back at verses 5-6.

Romans 15:5 “Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus,” NASB

The ESB says it this way “May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus.”

And here’s why:

Romans 15:6 “so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” NIV

It brings Him glory. This. This is how He wants His children to behave. This is how He wants His ambassadors and representatives to act.

DO: In your journal, take the time to write out Romans 15:5-7. I believe there is such value in physically writing it out.

DO: Now take a highlighter or a different color pen and highlight important words – such as God’s character (we are, after all, to follow His example) and our commands.

Q: What were the characteristics you pulled out?

Q: Do you believe that the characteristics you underlined or circled in verse 5 give us a clue as to how to live in harmony? Why or why not?

Do not be discouraged. Be encouraged. God will enable you to act as He desires. Surrender to His control and enjoy the harmony He brings.

Set Free 9 – Negative Thoughts and Words

It hits you when you’re at your weakest. When you’re tired. When something rubbed you the wrong way at work. When you didn’t get that raise. When you got reprimanded- whether or not it was your fault. When your husband was late home from work. When your dress was a bit tighter than you remembered. When you got laid off. When your child didn’t obey.

Whatever happened, it did not make you feel good about yourself, or your life.

And it replays again and again in your mind with “what-if’s” and “If only I’s” punctuating the story.

And then come the lies. Ones like “You’re not good enough.” “You’re a failure.” “You are trash!”

And you believe it.

It’s the horrible downward spiral of negative thoughts and words.

But where does it come from?

Q: What is the primary source of negativity in your life? It may be your thoughts, it may be a person, or a media source, some combination of all of these. It may be something else entirely. Please write down your answer after careful thought. You may share if you keep your answer vague. Please remember this is not a gripe-fest. This is for healing.

Please read our text: Philippians 4:8-9 and Psalm 103:2-4

Fix your thoughts on what is true!

John 8:32 “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” NLT

Q: I would like for you to prayerfully consider this: When you have negative thoughts, do you believe they are an attack from Satan, or do you believe that it is your sin nature of doubt and pride showing up?

(it may be a combination of the two)

Knowing the source of the negativity help you tackle it.

If it is a lie from Satan, remind yourself of these precious words from Scripture:

Psalm 103:2-4 “Bless the Lord, O my soul,And forget not all His benefits:Who forgives all your iniquities,Who heals all your diseases,Who redeems your life from destruction,Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies” NKJV emphasis mine

When you think a thought such as “I’m not good enough,” or someone criticizes you, “You keep messing up!”, take heart. God doesn’t see you that way. He has already lovingly carried a heavy cross on a back rubbed raw, just for you! A heavy wooden cross built from all the shame, guilt, and ugly across time. Child of God, that’s where your ‘not-enough’ went to. You don’t hold that any more. Your not-enough was crucified with Christ on the cross. It’s dead. It’s gone. The Christ-in-you is what remains. Just Christ. And with Christ in you, you most certainly are enough.

Don’t you see?

Romans 8:10 “And Christ lives within you, so even though your body will die because of sin, the Spirit gives you life because you have been made right with God.” NLT

But Satan knows our weakness, and will do his best to remind us of where we failed. He will try to convince us to turn back, ‘because it’s not worth it anyway. You’re not worth it.’.

Satan is wrong.

Read our next passage, Genesis 18:22-33, looking carefully for God’s heart- because, Sister, God’s heart is the same today as it was yesterday, and the same as it was 4500 years ago back in Abraham’s time.

I believe if Abraham had continued asking for smaller numbers all the way down to one, God would have still agreed.

So if Satan is trying to get you down with guilt over something you’ve done, either recently or before your walk with Christ, remember whose you are. Remember Who cleansed you from all of it. All of it.

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” NKJV emphasis mine

So if you are cleansed from that, and freed from the guilt, power and punishment from sin, you are truly truly free. It bears repeating. You are free. No matter how often or how cruelly Satan tries to re-chain you to your sin, to your sin’s punishment, to the shame and poor image carried by the old you that Christ freed you from, he cannot. Because you are free.

John 8:36 “Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” NKJV

If it is not a direct attack from Satan to get you cycling down the negative way, then is it pride taking you there?

Consider this. Pride is a form of self-focus, correct? So, if we’re looking at a situation, accepting blame or fault when it’s not ours to accept, could that be a form of pride?

Q: Why or why not? Please share.

I believe it can be. If you are so focused on yourself in a situation that you feel like if only you were better, you would’ve done this better, or that sooner; if you feel like you are to blame for your poor circumstance, lack of acceptance, or missed promotion; if you perform better, your husband would come home from work sooner; if you this or that…. maybe we need to adjust your lens.

It’s not all about you! It’s not all about me! Are you following me?

Maybe, just maybe God’s working on someone else in this situation, and you are a civilian this time. What do you think about that?

Isaiah 55:8 ““My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.    “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”” NLT

Romans 11:33 “Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!” NLT

As good as we think we are at reading God by now, He may just have a plan we can’t see this side of Heaven. No need throwing a pity-party when our situation isn’t ideal, as long as another soul comes to know Jesus, amen?

We just never know what God’s plan is. If our situation didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that there’s something the matter with us- it may mean that God’s got a scenario lined up to reach another child, or to bring another child into the molding and shaping they need to be like Christ. If you get a little bent out of shape (or molded and shaped too) in the meantime, then so be it. It doesn’t mean that you’re all that bad to have deserved it.

Make sense?

God thinks highly of you, no matter what He allows across your path. No need fretting, looking at yourself in self-pity, or berating yourself for who you aren’t or what you did wrong. Look at yourself the way God does; as a child of God, imperfect and saved by grace; on this earth to bring Him glory. If we’re wrapped up in what ifs, we are not glorifying our Savior. He saved you from the what-ifs.

His positive thinking is more than the Dr. Phil variety. It’s Kingdom thinking. It’s thinking about God’s bigger picture, resisting the enemy, and shining His light.

Let’s unwind from the negative spiral and focus our thoughts on Jesus.

Hebrews 12:2 “We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.” NLT

Set Free 8 - If You've Been Hurt

Have you been hurt? I have.

Is there someone in your life who has left some major scars?

Physically or emotionally.

I’m sure most of us can think of someone. Some hurts may go deeper than others but they all hurt. And many times, even when we thought we’d healed, then something comes along and scrapes at the old wound, revealing that it was deeper than we ever thought, and is indeed still there.

Let me start out by saying this. It may never go away.

The person who hurt you may be in your life permanently, and they may never change their behavior.

For this session we will be dealing with emotional injury, rather than physical injury. Please, if you are in a situation where you are being physically harmed, find a safe  place to go.

No, for this session we will be dealing with the type of emotional injury and hurt that sticks around like a bad penny.

What happens when we leave hurts undealt with is one (or more) of a few options.

1)      We start to get bitter

2)      We start to believe it, believe the lies that hurt us.

First let’s find some focus. We were not the only ones to ever hurt because of another.

Isaiah 53:6 “But He was wounded for our transgressions,He was bruised for our iniquities;The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,And by His stripes we are healed.”

Jesus took the blow for us – and in that felt the effects of every bit of anger, hate and rejection that any of us have ever felt. And worse.

Our passages today are 1 Peter 5:7 and Matthew 11:28-30

Since they are short, I’ll go ahead and include them here.

1 Peter 5:7 “casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” NKJV emphasis mine

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” NKJV emphasis mine

Can you see it? See the exchange?
Cast your cares; your hurts, your wounds, your insecurities, your injuries, still bleeding or not, on Him! Give them to him to deal with.

I know, it’s easier said than done. It is. But if you daily, or even moment by moment, consciously hand them over, instead of keeping a grasp on them, you will eventually find healing. You will not feel a need to hold them any longer. They will become less a part of you and more a part of your testimony, and story of God’s great grace. They will be yet one more thing that Jesus wanted to take off your hands so much that He came to die for you. Do you see it? If you keep a grasp on them, then grace is void. If we don’t accept His help- accept Him and all of Him, then why accept even part?

Do you hear what I’m saying? You don’t need it. You need only Him.

Colossians 2:10 “And you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.” NKJV emphasis mine

And look at our second passage, in Matthew.

He says to come to Him. Broken, beautiful you. Come.

See verse 29.

Learn from Him. He says learn from Him, because He has been there.

Let go of what you’ve been holding close to your heart- the worries and cares and hurts, and take what He’s got. He knows it’s hard, but we don’t need those to define us.

Yes, they may be a part of how we got to be the stronger person we are today, but they are a part of your past. They do now have to be a part of your now.

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” NKJV

One of my family’s favorite names for God is the one He used for Himself in Exodus 15:26, Jehovah Rapha, God our Healer.

We see it used multiple times in the Bible.

Psalm 23:3a “He restores my soul…” NKJV

Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows].” AMP

Jehovah Raphe; The self-existent One, and healer of our personal distress, defects and hurts. source

It is a part of His nature- so much so that He uses that for His name! Just as much as you who are moms or sisters or friends, when you say “I’m Lisa’s friend,” or “I’m Emma’s mom” it’s a part of you- it’s not only something you do on occasion (like, “I babysit her sometimes.”), it’s a part of your nature. You do things without question because that identity is a part of you- like caring for your child, calling to check in on your friend. Because you want to – out of love. In the same way, Him being our healer isn’t just part of His Heavenly job-description, it’s a part of who He is.

When we let Him heal us, even if He needs to re-bandage our wounds every single day, or multiple times per day, He loves doing it. He delights to heal you. Please let Him.

Part of the meaning of this name Jehovah Rapha gives the picture of Him sewing together, or mending a tear. Picture your loving Abba holding you in His hand, mending you, stitch by careful stitch.

He meets the emotional needs of His people. When we hurt, He feels it. And heals it if we let Him.

So, no, the one who has hurt you may never change their ways, and you may continue to get hurt. Just see that you are handling yourself correctly in the situation, and reflecting Jesus.

1 John 2:6 “Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.” NLT

Ephesians 4:1-2 “Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” NLT

Q: If there is someone in your life who has hurt you, do you feel the sting every time you think of them?

Q: Have you prayed about whether this is harbored bitterness on your part?

Q: Do you act like Christ would act in the situation? If not, pray that He would give you the love and forgiveness to offer that person- because you may not have it on your own. You may rely on His strength to forgive them.

DO: Pray for healing. In yourself- not necessarily for healing of the relationship (which is okay to pray for too), but for healing within, from the Holy Spirit. Healing on your side, so that you are blameless and holy before God, not harboring any bitterness toward that person, and so that you yourself are not hindered in your ministry and testimony of God’s work because of an injury.

He will heal you! It is His desire for you to be whole.

Luke 4:18 “…He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted…” NKJV

And from our memory verses this segment,

Excerpts from Isaiah 61:1-3
“…He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted…To comfort all who mourn,…To give them beauty for ashes,The oil of joy for mourning,The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness…”NKJV emphasis mine
 

He doesn’t want you to remain hurt. He wants you to be healed. But look Who provides the healing: He does. Nobody else. He alone can heal you. Accept His healing and let go of your hurts. He’s all you need anyway.

Set Free 2 - Breaking Bondage to Fear

Text: Psalm 27, 1 John 4

Fear. Oh what a powerful bond fear can present. It can strip us of options, joy, and even our health.

There is such a thing as a healthy fear – even fear of heights or spiders is in a way healthy, as there is a measure of danger involved in these objects of fear. While we are discussing fears, however, these types of healthy fears are not what I’m talking about today.

Let me start by saying you don’t have to look far to know God’s opinion on the matter. He does not want His children to be afraid. There are over a hundred passages in the Bible where God says not to fear. Many of them are coupled with a reason, such as “I am with you” or “I have heard you”.

Isaiah 41:10 “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.    Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you.    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” NLT

Genesis 21:17 b “…Fear not, for God has heard…” NKJV

He doesn’t want you to be afraid any more than a normal father or mother wants their child to fear.

Fear is not right. Fear doesn’t feel good. Fear is not good.

James 1:17 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” NKJV emphasis mine

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” NKJV emphasis mine

Look at this – if God is good, and God is love (1 John 4:8, Psalm 100:5) and fear is not good, and there is no fear in love (1 John 4:18) then fear is the opposite of God.

1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” NKJV

Satan would like nothing better than for us to be fearful.

Why?

Really give this some thought. Please write your answers in your journal. Please also share your insights in the comments section.

There are any number of reasons, but here’s a few I thought of.

1-      It cripples us.

2-      It makes us make poor decisions

3-      It makes us irrational

4-      It makes us doubt God.

Number four is the big one. For when we are looking to, and trusting our God, there is no fear.

So, if Satan has you bound in the chain of fear, what are some ways we can break free?

Please write down your answers.

There is no fear with God; the number one answer ought to be to look to God. Keep a laser focus on Him and you shouldn’t have any more fear problem.

Another related answer is truth.

John 8:32 “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” NLT

What are you fearful of? Speak truth to it. God’s words are truth. John 17:17.

I have been fearful sometimes about a dangerous influence on some of my loved ones, whom I really have no way of helping to re-direct. It hurts to watch and it has caused me to be fearful of the outcome.

But then God, (and shouldn’t that always be the answer? ‘But then God…’) at one time when this fear was particularly strong, told me, as He often does, “I’ve got this.” He brought me to a passage of Scripture fitting for the situation. I did not have to search for it; He directed me to it. (For my particular situation, that Scripture passage was Ezekiel 34:11-16)

And that was just for me and my situation, but He always has something; His word is alive and applicable, and when you don’t know where to look, He will show you.

These were ongoing fears. Ongoing worries, and places I hadn’t let go of. I had foolishly, even if subconsciously, took/kept “control” over it by fearing. Here’s what I mean – when we fear, we are essentially telling God “This is out of Your hands.”

What a lie Satan would have us believe. Childlike faith goes away when we see more and more of this big, bad world.

As children, we are already practiced in trust – trusting our parents for everything. Meals, shelter, bedtime, loving arms. Those of you with rambunctious little ones know this to be true: trusting those loving arms to catch us when we wander too close to the edge.

But as we grow older, and either more influenced by Satan’s lies, or by Satan’s people, we put up guards and choose not to trust. We get hurt, and it’s harder to trust. We sometimes have to wait for God’s plan to show through, and trust is so hard.

Psalm 56:3 “But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” NLT

But that is really really the key to beating fear. If you haven’t already, please read our text, Psalm 27.

See in it the different scenarios that might cause fear.

Not, prayerfully, read through it again slowly, and ask the Spirit to give you an open mind to recognize fear in your own life. Allow your mind to paraphrase some of David’s situations to something in your own life. Write them down.

If God brings to mind something that isn’t in the text, write that down, too.

Now, write a big “Pray!” beside it on the left. And on the right, write a reminder that God’s in control; “God’s got this!” Use words that are most familiar to you (you might write something like “God’s in control over this” or something like that), and remind yourself of it throughout the day.

God bless. I am praying for you.

Can’t wait to meet up next time.

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