Acceptance - 4 Dealing with Rejection

Romans 8:1 “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” NASB

It’s bound to happen. If it hasn’t plagued you for a portion or all of your life already, trust me, it will happen sooner or later. Someone is going to reject you.

There are a variety of grounds they may choose to reject you on – anything from your faith, your personality, something that transpired between you, or for no seeming reason whatsoever. It’s going to happen.

Please read our texts: Romans 8:1-18, John 15:18-21, John 16:32-33 These are going to be our base texts for the next couple sessions, so you might want to find a bookmark.

Rejection hurts. There’s no way around that. It just really hurts.

Q: In your journal, please list some people who have rejected you. Do your best to contain your emotions for now. Let’s look at this as objectively as we can; we’ll deal with emotions in a minute.

DO: Now take your list, and categorize those people (as best as you can, for only our Heavenly Father truly knows the hearts of them) into two categories: believers and non-believers.

Though rejection from both categories certainly hurts, I can tell you that for me personally, rejection by other believers is far harder to deal with. Over the next couple days we are going to look at both. In some ways we deal with them the very same way. But there can be a bit different approach between them at times too.

I’d love for you to realize one very important thing.

Jesus suffered rejection every bit as much as you, and then some. And He remained sinless through it all.

Hebrews 4:15 “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” NIV

I find it interesting that in NASB the word for empathize is written as sympathize. The meaning is rather a dual one; the Greek word is sympatheō, and it carries meaning of both sympathy and compassion. The King James Version uses the word “touched” (source). In any and all of these, we know the very important truth that Christ also suffered like us, and He is understanding, compassionate and sympathetic toward our situation. He does know what you’re going through. It would be immature and childlike for us to declare to Him “you don’t understand” or “nobody understands me”. He does. Completely.

Please look again at our text in John 16, specifically verse 33:

John 16:33 “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” NASB

We are promised trouble. This life was never meant to be easy. Christ knew the pain we would face, and that’s part of why He came here to overcome it. To conquer it on our behalf.

So how do we handle it when a believer rejects us? This person is supposed to be on our side, are they not? Yes. And they are, technically speaking. They just may not be doing what they should be doing.

What? May not be? How about ‘they are certainly in the wrong’! I am hurt here, and they are to blame!

Did I catch you? Is that what you’re thinking? I would be if I was you.
But here’s why I can’t draw a blanket conclusion that they are in the wrong. Sometimes, I believe God moves people apart for a very specific reason. If both parties are Christians, then I’d say the odds are even more in favor of this. Here’s why. God’s ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. He alone can see the bigger picture. He alone knows the steps that must be taken to shape and mold His children in the best way possible. If that means separating two of His children for a period of time, then that’s the way it must be.

Are any of you parents? You know, then, certainly, that at times you need to intervene and separate your children – for their good. Is this making any better sense when I put it that way? Can you relate?

At other times, when you are rejected by another Christian, it may be that they are not walking in obedience to God. They, just like anyone, yourself included, are still human. They are still capable of failing. I’m not here to excuse anyone, believe me. I am here, though, to let you know that you’re not responsible for them. You’re just simply not. You are responsible for you, and nobody else.

Romans 14:12 “So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.” NASB emphasis mine

Look again at Hebrews 4:15. Check out behind the scenes on the word tempted:

peirazōto try, make trial of, test: for the purpose of ascertaining his quality, or what he thinks, or how he will behave himselfto test one maliciously, craftily to put to the proof his feelings or judgmentsinflict evils upon one in order to prove his character and the steadfastness of his faithsource 

Sometimes, as hard as it is to swallow, God may be allowing rejection in your life so that your faith is strengthened. So that you learn that He alone is your constant. He alone is the one who you should put your faith and confidence in.

Psalm 71:1 “In You, O Lord, I put my trust; Let me never be put to shame.” NKJV

Romans 8:18 “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” NASB

I’d like for you to look again at our text in John 15 before we close. I have two admonitions for you.

1) Don’t take it personal.

In verse 18, Jesus says any rejection you receive is actually directed at Him. You are His child.

Romans 8:16-17 “The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.” NASB

Which brings me to my second admonition:

2) Remember He will help you through it.

Every day might be a struggle. It may not become resolved this side of Heaven. But know that He’s got your back. And your heart. And He’s sent you help. See John 15:26. That Helper is referred to in other passages as our Comforter. And in this case, they’re One in the same.

In your prayer time, ask for that help. Now’s the time to unleash your emotions – tell it all to Him, He can handle it, and it brings Him such joy to hear you tell it to him, even if it brings searing pain or rips open a wound you were trying to ignore. Have God help you through it. He’s no stranger to rejection, and he does know what you’re going through. He’s been there. 

Acceptance - 1

Romans 15:7 “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” NIV

Sometimes it seems intangible. Sometimes it seems alluring. Some spend their lives fighting for it. Some are blessed to have always known it.

Acceptance.

In this segment we will be looking at different facets of acceptance: toward others, others’ acceptance of us (or lack of it), acceptance by God, acceptance of God, and acceptance of His plan and will for us.

I would like for you to spend some time in prayer, asking God to open your mind to areas in your life that need sharpened, matured, mended or healed. Maybe they’re hidden; maybe they are obvious, bleeding, raw. Maybe there are some from both categories.

Please read our text Romans 15:1-13 and let’s dig in.

Zoom in on verses 2-3:

Romans 15:2-3 “Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification. 3 For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me.” NKJV

Christ took all our reproaches – the ones we lash on each other, the ones we earned when we sinned and acted apart from God’s commandment, causing our rejection and lack of Holy acceptance – that is, without intervention.

Read Psalm 69:9-12

And He knew this was coming because of us, and loved, gave, died anyway.

Psalm 69:11 “I wore sackcloth as my clothing,and I was a joke to them.” HCSB

Q:  From Psalm 69:11-12 Christ humbled Himself for us, and how did we respond?

Sheer ridicule.

How could we? How dare we?

And we who did this to Him – yes, willingly – He accepts us. Chose us. Loves us.

What I’d love for you to notice in this is that He is our example.

1 John 2:6 “Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.” NIV

 1 Peter 2:21 “For you were called to this,because Christ also suffered for you,leaving you an example,so that you should follow in His steps.” HCSB emphasis mine

Ephesians 5:1-2 “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.” NKJV

Philippians 2:5 “Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus” HCSB

I would like to encourage you this: there has never been or ever will be any hurt greater than that which Christ took because of us. And we have His example to follow – so it is time to lay aside our pride and realize that even if we’ve been hurt, we too can forgive, as Christ forgave us.

Ephesians 4:32 “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” NKJV

Only after that forgiveness and by following His example of pure grace can we even begin to practice acceptance toward one another. Even toward those who do not accept us.

Turn back to our text in Romans 15.

Romans 15:1 “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.” NIV

And we are commanded to accept one another.

Romans 15:7 “Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted [a]us to the glory of God.”  NASB

Only through God will we ever be able to do this.

Whenever we see a ‘therefore’ in a text, we ought to look at the preceding verses. So glance back at verses 5-6.

Romans 15:5 “Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus,” NASB

The ESB says it this way “May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus.”

And here’s why:

Romans 15:6 “so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” NIV

It brings Him glory. This. This is how He wants His children to behave. This is how He wants His ambassadors and representatives to act.

DO: In your journal, take the time to write out Romans 15:5-7. I believe there is such value in physically writing it out.

DO: Now take a highlighter or a different color pen and highlight important words – such as God’s character (we are, after all, to follow His example) and our commands.

Q: What were the characteristics you pulled out?

Q: Do you believe that the characteristics you underlined or circled in verse 5 give us a clue as to how to live in harmony? Why or why not?

Do not be discouraged. Be encouraged. God will enable you to act as He desires. Surrender to His control and enjoy the harmony He brings.

Set Free 1 - Beauty from Ashes

Captivity. Bound. Stuck. Oppressed. Slave. Enslaved. Bondage.

These words surely evoke some strong emotions. If you are like most of us, probable one or more of those words brought to mind a specific memory, situation, or person in your life.

Now let’s try a new set of words on for size:

Freedom. Free. Deliverance. Liberated. Liberty. Voluntary. Choice. Gratitude.

Different feelings, right? So tied together but so very different. And if you’re like most, there are some in that second group that seem a bit intangible, even foreign.

But they don’t have to be.

Not with Jesus.

In the next several sessions we’re going to look at how. It is my prayer that many of you would find healing, deliverance, and know (maybe even for the first time) what it means to be free in Christ.

Please realize that, as I pen this, I am still a pilgrim on a journey. So much progress has been made in my heart, but there’s still a long way to go.

You are not alone. I have not arrived. And though they are becoming less, I still have days when I struggle in this area, and I know there still many ahead.

Mark 14:38 or Matthew 26:41 “Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” NLT

That said, let’s dig in.

The first thing I notice is that all are in bondage to begin with.

Romans 3:23 “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” NLT

Romans 3:10 “As the Scriptures say, “No one is righteous—not even one.”” NLT

Romans 5:12 “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.” NLT

As soon as we are born, we are in bondage to sin. Born with a sin nature, we serve sin. We are sin’s slave.

But the next thing I noticed was Jesus. Look at Him in our base text for today.

Read Luke 4:14-21.

Then flip over to see His heart in Luke 13:16

“Isn’t it right that she should be freed?”

It is right. No one should ever have to stay in bondage. Jesus’s heart cries for our freedom, and He came that we might have it. He gave His very life for us to have it.

It pains Him when we remain in bondage.

Even after we accept His free gift of salvation from our bondage to sin and its final sentence which is Hell, we sometimes remain in bondage.

This type of bondage has perhaps a few sources. The main one I’d like to consider today comes in the form of a spiritual attack.

Turn to 1 Peter 5.

1 Peter 5:8 “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” NLT

Satan would like nothing more than to turn our minds and heart and hope away from Jesus. Sometimes he attacks strongholds – the strong marriages, solid churches, or the mature Christians who stand to fall farther and often would pull people with them – creating a bigger victory for himself.

But sometimes, he attacks the weak spots. A small victory is better than no victory, right?

That spot where it already hurts, he plants a doubt:

God can’t help you with this one. This will never go away.

That fear you’re struggling to give over to God:

God’s not listening anyway. Your fears will come true.

And the guilt you can’t let go, he rubs raw.

You’re awful. No real Christian would’ve done what you’ve done. You should feel terrible.

And he splashes a big bucket of burning shame on you.

He hates you.

But Jesus.

But Jesus doesn’t.

Jesus loves you!

And He always will. He always thinks you’re worth it!

Look at the verse prior to the one we just looked at in 1 Peter. (I like the Amplified version, but will include both it and NKJV, because a shorter verse is easier to memorize and tuck away in your armor.)

1 Peter 5:7 “Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.” AMP

1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” NKJV

For today, I’d love for you to prayerfully ask God to reveal any areas of bondage in your life.

It may be obvious. It may not. It may be something you thought you already dealt with.

Be open to what He reveals.

Read the rest of the 1 Peter passage. Slowly; digesting it little by little. It is so applicable.

1 Peter 5:5-6 “In the same way, you younger men must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, serve each other in humility, for God opposes the proud but favors the humble.  So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.” NLT

This humility is what we need for Him to reveal any painful chains.

1 Peter 5:7 “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” NLT

Hand them over. They’re too heavy for you, sister. He cares for you enough to take them.

1 Peter 5:8-9a “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith…” NLT

Be wary, and put up your Shield.  (Ephesians 6:16)

1 Peter 5:9b “…Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.” NLT

You’re not alone. Satan may try to get you to feel like you are, but Scripture is Truth, because God is Truth, and it says there are others like you, with like struggles.

Even Jesus went through it.

Hebrews 4:15b “…for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.” NLT

1 Peter 5:10-11 “In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. All power to him forever! Amen.” NLT

This is temporary. God has the power to restore you. He has the power and desire to break your bondage.

Before we close, let’s look at the passage Jesus opened the Scriptures up to in our initial text in Luke 4. Drink it in.

Isaiah 61:1-3 “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,    because the Lord has anointed me    to proclaim good news to the poor.He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,    to proclaim freedom for the captives    and release from darkness for the prisoners,to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor    and the day of vengeance of our God,to comfort all who mourn,    and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty    instead of ashes,the oil of joy    instead of mourning,and a garment of praise    instead of a spirit of despair.They will be called oaks of righteousness,    a planting of the Lord    for the display of his splendor.” NLT

In fact, let’s memorize this together, over the next weeks of our study together.
You can get a free printable card of this passage here

Matthew Henry brings out the poetry of that exchange – beauty for ashes.

A play on words – rearranging the actual word ‘ashes’ (epher) and turning it into ‘beauty’ (pheer).

And isn’t that so fitting?

Pray now about your bondage – no matter what kind it may be – that God would reveal it, take it, and turn it into something beautiful.

The Painful Lesson 7 – Difficult People

Text: Jeremiah 22:7-9; Jer 25; Jer 51:1-5, 7; Romans 1:18-32, 1 Peter 3:4

We have no excuse.

Romans 1:20b-22 “We have no excuse for not knowing God. Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools.” NLT

We took our Groom for granted.

And we are about to see what it is like without Him. Or maybe that’s where we are right now?

God has crumbled the clay.

Last session we talked about how He crumbles the clay by pulling out the velvet rug we’ve been sitting on.

Today, we are going to look at an alternate approach He sometimes takes, and maybe this fits your life a little better. Rather than punishment/teaching (the two really can be interchangeable at times, can they not?) by removal of something, sometimes God actually institutes “wreckers” in our lives.

Yep. I had to do a double-take too, but it’s plainly what God said. Look again at Jeremiah 22:7-9 and then turn over to chapter 25.

Jeremiah 22:7 “I will call for wreckers,    who will bring out their tools to dismantle you.They will tear out all your fine cedar beams    and throw them on the fire.”

Jeremiah 25:3-7 reminds me of what I’m memorizing in Romans. Romans 1:18-32 specifically.

Jeremiah 25:9 kind-of stunned me. King Nebuchadnezzar – God’s deputy? 

God appointed him? 

God appointed him?

This same Nebuchadnezzar who ordered the statue built of himself for everyone to worship (Daniel 3)? This same Nebuchadnezzar who ordered the death of those who did not? But there it is in verse 9.

Jeremiah 25:9 “I will gather together all the armies of the north under King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, whom I have appointed as my deputy, I will bring them all against this land and its people and against the surrounding nations. I will completely destroy you and make you an object of horror and contempt and a ruin forever.”

And God brought him against Israel.

No, sisters, God hasn’t handed over the wheel this time. He’s still got it. He’s directing all these turn of events, even when it has meant the demise of His Beloved for a time.

While this passage was directly spoken to Israel, about a time that has now already happened (just exactly the way God said it would, by the way – but then we shouldn’t be surprised, because He was the One who orchestrated it in the first place), we can definitely see application in our own lives.

It angers God when we stray. He must, as a Holy God, punish to bring forth a better, more faithful, beautiful Bride.

1 Peter 3:4 “You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” NLT

Has God brought a difficult person into your life? I know you can think of at least one difficult person you know. Maybe that person’s very presence in your life is an act of love.

Did you ever think of it that way?

God, up there in Heaven, sketching out plans for your life, and He artfully pencils in the presence of someone He knows will try you. Someone He knows will hurt you. Someone to bring you to your knees.

Because that is what He wants – is you on your knees. Even if it takes a bit of pain to get you there.

There are so many more treasures here, but we will stop here for today.

Until next time, do spend some time in thankful prayer for those people most difficult in your life. They are a gift from your Groom, a jewel on your bridal tiara.